Thank you! Good night!
The crowd the cheers.
We walk off stage.
“What did you think”
“Could have done without that bit”
“Yeah I agree. Oh well what ya gonna do now”
“I don’t know should we go back out?”
“They do want another song”
“Yeah but what about the Elvis thing … you know always leave them wanting more !?”
“Yeah but that’s so 1950’s. This is 2017. Things done changed. Let’s go out there and see where the encore takes us. Who knows maybe it will be a whole new show.”
They go back out on the stage. The crowd erupts. Torture Chamber VJJ’s new album shockingly titled. ‘Lords And Masters’
I mean who do these guys think they are?!
How they have a minotaur in between them on their obviously air brushed album cover? I mean what?!? And what are they wearing? One looks like he’s in a space leotard from the future. The other is some strange man woman. In a dress and golden shoes. As if Beethoven started a bike Gang. Called the classical misfits.
Who are these Torture Chamber VJJ people. And what does the VJJ stand for?
‘Lords And Masters’ ? Which ones the lord which ones the master? Or is this some kind of offering to Lords And Masters? I don’t get it frankly but the album cover does make a really cool black light poster. I will give them that. The minotaur was a nice touch.
The Minotaur. Was Paul’s idea. It might have been a different mythical creature. Than that. I can’t remember but ….
What’s great. What’s truly wonderful about that whole concept for me. Isn’t the thing. I mean we are gonna make a Torture Chamber VJJ album. The working title is (hysterically) Lords and Masters.
We do intend to make an airbrushed album cover reminiscent of Kiss’s Destroyer where Paul and I become cartoonish in our absurdity in order to celebrate the absurd.
Artists love celebrating absurdity. We like pointing it out. We like laughing at it. And then even using its power. Look at Kiss and Marilyn Manson to see how the big boys do it.
But how that relates to the echo maze? Why is this an encore for this show? Let me tell you why.
This type of creativity. This type of freedom. This type of ability to just have fun with it. Not worry about it. Not over think what this means or that means or is any of this going in the right direction?
Essentially in order for an artist to make new and vital work. Or ridiculous and confusing work. Or even bad and regrettable work.
It requires space. It requires mental space.
Here again Rilke’s assessment about protecting solitude being the cornerstone of love really rings.
What you need to know or think about it. Is who’s in your mind? Who’s burdening you with needless concern or chores or worries? And is there a pattern of it? Is it happening all the time? If so. My experience. They’re doing that on purpose cause they are bored or all the other narc upside down logic. And I hate to say it. Even if they’re your everything. You might need to start thinking about making YOU your everything and giving yourself space to manifest not only yourself. And your dreams. But. …. no that’s pretty much it. Lol. Just yourself and your dreams will do. Lol.
I should say that you can test all this and you should. Some people may do this type of shit genuinely unconsciously but you can test that pretty easy.
When you try to confront said person. Does it fall into confusion and further misunderstanding and no resolution?
Oh really it does.
Well that’s not a good sign.
It really is super easy. When you’re hanging around cool people. They don’t stress you out for no fucking reason. Come on man.
How am I gonna conceptualize something genius like ‘Lords and Masters’ if you’re always sweating me.
And what’s “sweating me”
Well dear friends. There is a large variety of the ways in which people “sweat” each other.
Interesting language thing I never really thought about. Well done street lingo. This is a good one. Sweat=stress=death.
I’m having breakfast right now. And coffee.
I haven’t lived like this in a long time. Just let myself do normal things.
My life for the last many months was locked into a rather strict and even military like discipline. I honesty didn’t think I’d ever change it. It never occurred to me that life would get normal again. It really didn’t. I didn’t think I was gonna laugh as easy again. I didn’t think I could conceptualize or have the energy for a project of absurd brilliance such as TCVJJ
I mean to make something fun. You have to be able to have fun. I don’t want to sound overly dire about it. I was fine living with military type discipline. I enjoyed it in the way that someone who doesn’t know how to have fun enjoys things. I thought ok. This is life now. I can deal. I think I’ll be come a pro fighter. And let the chips fall where they may. (I haven’t given up my dream to become a professional boxer. It’s just that had I been a little smarter about it. I would told myself not to write for another six months and instead put all of that madness into training. I would have pitied whoever stepped in the ring against me had that been the case. Maybe it still can be. Maybe I’m over thinking it. Of course I am. I’m a Lord and Master. That’s just what we do. We think too much.
The point I’m trying to make is
What you discover on your journey of healing is this kind of letting go.
It’s a process of letting go. This whole life is actually.
I’m facing a letting go of something I don’t really want to let go of. Not all the way anyway.
That discipline I found.
It was easy up against the brick walls I was up against. It just felt like do or die.
And not so much even a choice. It was as tho I was simply watching myself like watching a movie. Entertained by the show quite frankly. And surprised as my body got into the kind of shape I never thought possible. Meditation as well.
It’s easy when you wake up into what is essentially a cell. That’s what your life becomes. An isolated hell.
How much discipline is required when your choices are exercise and meditation versus hell on earth?
It’s like that.
This way…. provides you a little relief and a bunch of hope for the future.
Every other possibility is a bee line for hell on earth.
It doesn’t take a moral giant. Or even someone with all that much discipline to suddenly become very Bruce Lee about all this shit.
Didn’t take me too long at all.
Now I’m faced with this.
How do I keep that discipline now that the fruit of that discipline is starting to fall
Life is starting to just become fun again. In normal ways.
Not the kind of fun that’s measured against hell on earth.
The only kind of fun I thought existed anymore.
No I mean the kind of fun where you can have the joy, space and creative freedom to come up with something as ridiculous and glorious as TCVJJ LORDS AND MASTERS. OR WAS IT MASTERS AND LORDS. who knows we will get it right. Point is.
I didn’t know I was going for normalcy in all this.
I thought I was going for champion of the world. (And maybe I am)
But the real gift.
The real gift in all this
Is you can just be again.
Without the military.
Without (dare I say it) Lords and Masters.
You can just go to your local coffee shop
Have a biscuit with eggs and a coffee
And think about.
What you might want to do with the rest of your day.