As I Was Saying 

Appearances can be deceiving 
You don’t say kid. 

It’s something I always knew. But never let myself really know. Like so many other things in this life and this world. We all have to deceive ourselves every single day. There’s no other way to live here. 
Opening your eyes all the way is brutal. Taking it out of the personal now and into the universal. 
Appearances can be deceiving 
Just look in your own lives. How many of you know exactly what I’ve been talking about here?

As out the box and off the frame as it is to just air out publicly.

 How many of you are living 

if not this same 

than some other level of. Near total dysfunction?
Appearances can be deceiving 
But that also just depends on who’s doing the perceiving.

 Who you can try to make amends.

 But still just leave there misconcieving.

 The way a beggar never mends 

just goes on starving here 

and bleeding. 

I love my family still. 

I won’t let them rob me there. They can’t get into my heart where a dove still flies in there. They can’t get inside my mind cause rewiring up in there. With my vision now my own and vision ringing clear. Course I miss that haunted home. I was Casper as a kid. My mom bought me that design. I bawled and cried the mirror, I hid. 
Appearances can be deceiving 
Turns out I’m no friendly 👻 ghost 

I don’t want to be a pest

But now ” pester!” calls the host

And me not to disappoint 

I stand and haunt my case 

Spooky action at a distance 

The bubble pops in Einstein’s face. 🏆

Sorry just lapsed into poetry while I was trying to make a point. Stand down Mr. Poet laureate, tho I must say…. nicely done. Take a bow and sit. “Cmon guys and dolls would you give it up to my friend so we can get on with the adult conversation I was attempting to have “ahem ” with the ladies and gentlemen over here. 

“Yeah yeah yeah I’m sittin”

The poet sits. Fidgeting. Trying to listen to the speaker of the house. 

As I was saying. 

Appearances can be deceiving. Which of us hasn’t been deceived? How many of us fall into those same patterns? Of taking advantage and being taken advantage of? Is anyone not living some version of this? 

I mean not on all levels of course. I’m sure many of you have amazing non transactional relationships as do I. Where it really is about love and trust and loyalty and friendship. I am blessed in this department. I have many good friends. People I count as brothers and sisters. And family. Those people know how I greet them. How I receive them. I love those people dearly. And I know they love me that way too. 

I’m really starting to feel that love again. And as tho for the first time. 

It takes a big heart to let it all in. I’m working so hard on that right now. 

I’m so grateful to the people in my life who have shown me so much generosity. I’ve a blessed existence. That is the truest thing I’ve said in this whole blog.  
But we know what this place is. It’s not a land of high ideals. That’s not any kind of landmark statement. That’s just the truth. People here are stabbing each other all kinda different ways. And always have been and always have done. 
Here’s where the problem or should I say problems come in. We aren’t what we were yesterday. 

this should be capitalized 
WE ARENT WHAT WE WERE YESTERDAY 
The poet giggles 

The speaker of the house gives an angry look

“Excuse me he says”

The poet laughing says

” yeah yeah yeah. You really know how to ruin a perfectly good point by having to become a cheer leader and putting it all in caps. I mean cmon. You really want to insult the people’s intelligence like that? 

Speaker of the house my ass. More like glorified gym teacher! And what’s with all the repetition…appearances can be deceiving appearances can be deceiving. What is this a battle cry?!?”

” you filthy motherfucker! You pervy little art fag. I’m gonna come over there and shatter your glass jaw! Who are you to ever get on anyone about REPETITION! If you didn’t have repetition you wouldn’t have ever written a single decent thing!!. One more outburst. One more. Just give me an excuse. Repetition my ass. This guy… talking to me about repetition. The nerve. You got balls I’ll tell you that. How’s that drinking problem going?”
Anyway …
As I was saying. “Ahem!”

Am I not just speaking of the human condition housed in so called personality disorders? I mean , I see these games playing all over the place constantly. I know the condition of my upbringing would dictate I can’t be totes objective here. But come on. It’s bleeding out in the culture like crazy now

I saw GLOW on TV and in that tv show

They had a few real kick ass scenes 

And it went into these realms 

It showed you just how evil schemes 

A ketchup blood explode

Rubbing pain in others dreams. 
Stand down Mr. Poet. Stand the fuck down. Now you’re just being rude. Looking for any chance. Interrupt me again like that and I’ll have you removed by security!!. 
As I was saying 

We all fall into these traps. And we are exploding in this area right now because our mass consciousness is elevating. We are as is the universe in fact expanding. 
These ladies and gentlemen! are growing pains. 
Applause 👏 

One Comment on “As I Was Saying 

  1. I just told my narc 10 minutes ago “I’m dead. You already killed me.” But I left out the part about the new me that is more alive than ever. People that don’t come from this type of family environment, and subsequently these types of relationships, just can’t understand. Can’t fathom what it takes to come out of the total mind fuck. They project all their shit right back on you, because you are going to expose them and they are scared shitless. Because then they will have to die, and be born again, too. And I truly believe only a precious few make it. You’re gonna make it. I’m gonna make it. As for the others…it’s on them. (And I’m also watching GLOW.)

    Liked by 1 person

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