The Terrible Misadventures Of Theroambo or 

Camping isn’t as easy as I thought. 

I was going for a Theroux mixed with Rambo type of thing

But what I got was something altogether more cruel than that. 
I bought my tent and basic camping supplies and the first night went off without a hitch kinda. 

I pulled into the campsite a little too late and so the office was closed. 

My first time camping so  

This proposed quite a kerfuffle. It was all supposed to be easier than this. That’s what they said at the store where I bought the tent. 

But I parked there for a second and just considered my options. 

I decided to get brave 

And march on. I went into the campsite and asked a neighboring tent, if they thought it was cool if I just set up and paid in the morning. They said they didn’t know. I decided fortune favors the bold. And set up. 

The tent was as advertised no big deal to set up and the illustrations on the red material where the spikes lay told me all I needed to know. Night hadn’t fallen yet but I got in my tent and thought. Shit, I shoulda got bug spray. But what is life if not a place for us to learn to do better next time. 

I laid there in my tent acting like I thought campers were supposed to act like. 

This was easier than many other challenges in life. For this , I just had to lay there. 

Yeah but it’s how you lay here that counts I thought. It’s the quality of the laying down which what separates a camper from just a guy laying in a tent. 

I practiced and about an hour and half in. I think I got there. I was laying there like I belonged there. Like a camper. 
The first big challenge I faced was 

“Hey where do I plug my phone in?”

The learning curve was steep here. 

Taking notes to do better next time. 

Bug spray and portable phone charger. 

Ok ok hold on big guy. You can get the hang of this. 

My phone died finally and then I just laid in the pitch black darkness of the great outdoors. 

I thought well ain’t this really the point. To be disconnected and getting eaten alive. 

I love camping. 
I was going for Theroux meets Rambo
Theroambo

 It wasn’t too far a stretch I thought. When all of the sudden a car pulled up and I heard a lady say

Someone’s in our spot. 

I just thought

Are you fucking kidding me. 

How’s Theroambo gonna get any deep thinking done around here with all this hootin and a hollerin 

I put my dress on and went outside. 

I explained what had happened and they were cool. They said I could leave my tent and sleep there. Theroambo was back in business. 
But I couldn’t stay there the next day so when I got up I figured let’s get down the road, get some bug spray and some coffee and see if you can’t master this camping thing yet. 
I stopped at the next highway sign that said campgrounds. I never looked for those signs before. It was fun pretending to be a camper. 
But Devastation lay ahead. 

It was easier this time. 

The office was open. I got a lot with electricity which turned out to be kinda ridiculous cause everyone else had a camper plugged in where I just had a phone charger next to a tent. 

But it only cost four dollars extra so hey no biggie. 

The devastation came because where I was thinking Theroambo

The world was thinking 

Fourth of July family celebration. 

Ouch. 

And then 

Ouch again

And then ouch 

Ouch 

Ouch 
Theroambo was taking some serious hits. 

He walked along the beach by more families and tried to act like he knew what he was doing there. But he didn’t. 

As Footloose blared over the speakers Theroambo fell into sobs. 

That’s what happens lately. 

Huge waves of extreme emotional pain from who the fuck knows where. 

With zero tolerance to do anything to distract myself from it. 

It’s like a life of running

Has just run the fuck out. 

And I’m willing to just lay in the pain of it. 

I want it to just swallow me whole and wake me up when it’s done with me. 

I know a light will come. 

I ask God sincerely to please give me light. Just please give a little bit of light. 
But he needs me to go all the way to the bottom of this. 

To eliminate everything artificial that’s still holding on. 

It’s fucking raw. 

So raw 

That just sitting here requires me to heave out air as if I’m in a fight. 

It’s a crazy emotional pain. 

It’s 908. Pm. That’s like mercy to me. The darkness cannot come soon enough. The dark. The night makes so much more sense to me. At least now. 
I had it all worked out. 

Theroambo

Thought he had it all worked out. It was gonna be easy right? 

I was gonna park and set up my tent like the pro that I am. Bug spray and all. Electricity to spare. 
Then I was gonna lay down and practice being a camper for a second. 

And then I was gonna train. 

Jump rope and shadow box. 

I did that. 

But it wasn’t like before. Where my boxing was as if ordained from the spirit world. Now I was just a guy trying to jump rope. 

It was hard for me to do just two rounds. Where a couple weeks ago I did 8 and felt like “I guess I’ll stop. But didn’t have too. 

And that’s when I went for my walk and got shattered on Footloose beach. 
Camping isn’t as easy as I thought. 

9 Comments on “The Terrible Misadventures Of Theroambo or 

  1. If you didn’t make yourself laugh, or even crack a smile while writing that, I want you to repeat after me: camping isn’t for sissies! And cindy light, please quit writing to me! Keep saying it like a mantra… until your inner ninja shows up. Stay hydrated. Another camping rule. Google bears. Wildlife in the area. Google whether or not you should look them in the eye, or hum a tune like Ringo did. I love you. I shall go away now. But I’ll actually be right here praying for all of us. I don’t give up on you. Ever. Not if yer up, down, or sideways. ❤️and don’t you give up either. You’re IN the dark tunnel now. Keep advancing. You can do this! God doesn’t say, sure I’ll fix everything, or I’ll send you a cat named Tina to fix everything, we have to do the heavy lifting. BUT I firmly believe if I ask him to help me, he will. ~Oh yeah, he’s listening. So now we have to listen too. That’s the deal. Keep the faith Jo. Love you very much. ~C

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  2. I like and admire how you go all in though. You’re so open and willing to try. I don’t mean just with the camping. I guess as a woman I am uber cautious but I’m so afraid of making a mistake and looking dumb I don’t try nearly enough. You’re doing great. Keep going.

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  3. Hey Joe,
    I’m not sure but you seem to have quite a bit of adrenaline / anxiety. Did you mention you smoke weed? I know the sativa strain causes me a boatload of anxiety and emotions. (Whenever I smoke, ocassionally)
    Indica strain (“in the couch”) mellows me out, and a hybrid is both I guess.
    You’ve also trained like a mad man! Maybe your body is screaming for you to just chill? I dunno, I’m concerned about you is all.
    You’ve been through a lot and nature is “the best cure”.
    You’re a cool dude and I really dig what you do, including this blog.
    Be well. Don’t forget we all need to sometimes rest.
    If I’m out of line or way off, my apologies, we all interpret words and their arrangements differently.
    (That’s the beauty of art)
    You are loved
    bc

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  4. I think I can safely say that you have more than a few people checking in with you everyday making sure that you’re doing okay. That beach scene post seemed funny at the time, but now…? Brutal. Wish I could fast forward it for you. There is so much light coming your way just hang on.. Please.

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  5. you’re doing so much work right now on the soul – the body and mind can’t do it all at once. You got yourself in fighting shape (literally) so you could feel confident to do the interior work.
    The workouts will come back to you. This is probably a next level up phase.
    I can’t say my process was the same, we are all different. But I can relate on some level to working out to an oblivion and then journaling, reading, and processing. But I don’t recall ever being in the same space at the same time. It all take so much mental and physical energy to fight the old patterns, thoughts and relationships (with self, world and people). But it sounds like you’ve got the formula!
    Sending you peace

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Have you ever read The Body Keeps The Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk? He is a famous doctor specializing in trauma. The book is fascinating and has also been instrumental on my road to recovery. I’m a super rational person, and I know what happened to me and why narcs act the way they do, etc, but my subconscious mind, ruled by that old amygdala, is still emotionally stuck on my narc ex friend and hijacking my good sense on a regular basis. Not enough to break No Contact, but enough to bring me down emotionally on any given day.

    Dr. Van Der Kolk’s book explains how the body processes trauma and why we feel certain things, physically, mentally, from a scientific and holistic perspective, and which parts of the brain are responsible for what and how our brain processes abuse, etc. I cannot recommend this book enough. It’s a game changer for narcissistic abuse survivors. It relates PTSD and the brain in a scientific but easy-to-understand and interesting way. Our reactions, both conscious and unconscious, start to make so much sense. There are scientific explanations for what we are going through.

    Dr. Van Der Kolk also provides insight into how to manage these reactions that come from the limbic system and our central nervous system (like the benefits of yoga and meditation). The summary alone made it seem like the book wouldn’t apply to me, but I downloaded it anyway and told myself I’d give it a shot. And right away I connected with it. You don’t have to be a war veteran or rape survivor or car crash survivor to relate and learn valuable information from this book. My narc abuse was emotional only and lasted six months, and mainly consisted of ghosting and idealization. Yet I still was riveted by this book. Because the fundamentals of how the brain and body process trauma and how this can promote or hinder your recovery are the same for any sort of trauma. And of course they can get more or less extreme based on individual experiences and situations.

    Anyway, I just read this comment back and it sounds like a cheesy late night informercial, lol. But that’s only because the book affected me so much and I’m passionate about it. It’s written by a psychiatrist, yes, but he isn’t some medication pusher or egotistical, old school physician (and I can say this since I’m in the medical profession and know many doctors who don’t have the patient’s best interests in mind). He is a trauma specialist with decades of experience and he knows how to present his knowledge in a fascinating way. So if you’re looking for something to read on your camping trip, consider this book

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    • Alex this book sounds really interesting. Thank you for sharing that. There’s a book that I’m about half way through, that I’m really getting a lot out of too. Called ‘The Struggle For Your Mind’, by Kingsley L Dennis. ~it’s really just about essential to educate yourself in as many ways you can, to deal with such emotional issues. Just to give ourselves a running shot at dealing with it all.

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      • Thanks for the rec, Cindy! I just downloaded the book onto my iPad! I’m so glad we all have each other’ backs in all this. Our individual experiences may be different, but they are all rooted in the same narc patterns of abuse. Day by day, we will get better. It’s the little victories that matter. Hopefully you enjoy Dr. Van Der Kolk’s book as much as I did. Thanks again 🙂

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  7. Your pontificating on your 1st time camping adventure had me in stitches. Camping and I don’t get along so well. My last camping outing was in my 20’s and was titled Invasion of the Mud People or How to almost die in Pulaski. The closest I hope to ever come to camping again is traveling across country in a motor home in my later years.
    BTW just 2 little facts about Thoreau. You are one year older than he lived to be. He also spent one night in jail. (once an English major always an English major)

    I thought of you tonight because I watched a documentary on Bill Cosby and they stated how he was the king of gaslighting his victims. It then went into a full explanation of what gaslighting is. I really wish I was not so well acquainted with it first hand. You can do this! You’ve got this!
    Be well. Namaste
    L.

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