Camping isn’t as easy as I thought.
I was going for a Theroux mixed with Rambo type of thing
But what I got was something altogether more cruel than that.
I bought my tent and basic camping supplies and the first night went off without a hitch kinda.
I pulled into the campsite a little too late and so the office was closed.
My first time camping so
This proposed quite a kerfuffle. It was all supposed to be easier than this. That’s what they said at the store where I bought the tent.
But I parked there for a second and just considered my options.
I decided to get brave
And march on. I went into the campsite and asked a neighboring tent, if they thought it was cool if I just set up and paid in the morning. They said they didn’t know. I decided fortune favors the bold. And set up.
The tent was as advertised no big deal to set up and the illustrations on the red material where the spikes lay told me all I needed to know. Night hadn’t fallen yet but I got in my tent and thought. Shit, I shoulda got bug spray. But what is life if not a place for us to learn to do better next time.
I laid there in my tent acting like I thought campers were supposed to act like.
This was easier than many other challenges in life. For this , I just had to lay there.
Yeah but it’s how you lay here that counts I thought. It’s the quality of the laying down which what separates a camper from just a guy laying in a tent.
I practiced and about an hour and half in. I think I got there. I was laying there like I belonged there. Like a camper.
The first big challenge I faced was
“Hey where do I plug my phone in?”
The learning curve was steep here.
Taking notes to do better next time.
Bug spray and portable phone charger.
Ok ok hold on big guy. You can get the hang of this.
My phone died finally and then I just laid in the pitch black darkness of the great outdoors.
I thought well ain’t this really the point. To be disconnected and getting eaten alive.
I love camping.
I was going for Theroux meets Rambo
It wasn’t too far a stretch I thought. When all of the sudden a car pulled up and I heard a lady say
Someone’s in our spot.
I just thought
Are you fucking kidding me.
How’s Theroambo gonna get any deep thinking done around here with all this hootin and a hollerin
I put my dress on and went outside.
I explained what had happened and they were cool. They said I could leave my tent and sleep there. Theroambo was back in business.
But I couldn’t stay there the next day so when I got up I figured let’s get down the road, get some bug spray and some coffee and see if you can’t master this camping thing yet.
I stopped at the next highway sign that said campgrounds. I never looked for those signs before. It was fun pretending to be a camper.
But Devastation lay ahead.
It was easier this time.
The office was open. I got a lot with electricity which turned out to be kinda ridiculous cause everyone else had a camper plugged in where I just had a phone charger next to a tent.
But it only cost four dollars extra so hey no biggie.
The devastation came because where I was thinking Theroambo
The world was thinking
Fourth of July family celebration.
And then ouch
Theroambo was taking some serious hits.
He walked along the beach by more families and tried to act like he knew what he was doing there. But he didn’t.
As Footloose blared over the speakers Theroambo fell into sobs.
That’s what happens lately.
Huge waves of extreme emotional pain from who the fuck knows where.
With zero tolerance to do anything to distract myself from it.
It’s like a life of running
Has just run the fuck out.
And I’m willing to just lay in the pain of it.
I want it to just swallow me whole and wake me up when it’s done with me.
I know a light will come.
I ask God sincerely to please give me light. Just please give a little bit of light.
But he needs me to go all the way to the bottom of this.
To eliminate everything artificial that’s still holding on.
It’s fucking raw.
That just sitting here requires me to heave out air as if I’m in a fight.
It’s a crazy emotional pain.
It’s 908. Pm. That’s like mercy to me. The darkness cannot come soon enough. The dark. The night makes so much more sense to me. At least now.
I had it all worked out.
Thought he had it all worked out. It was gonna be easy right?
I was gonna park and set up my tent like the pro that I am. Bug spray and all. Electricity to spare.
Then I was gonna lay down and practice being a camper for a second.
And then I was gonna train.
Jump rope and shadow box.
I did that.
But it wasn’t like before. Where my boxing was as if ordained from the spirit world. Now I was just a guy trying to jump rope.
It was hard for me to do just two rounds. Where a couple weeks ago I did 8 and felt like “I guess I’ll stop. But didn’t have too.
And that’s when I went for my walk and got shattered on Footloose beach.
Camping isn’t as easy as I thought.