I woke up to a text from Paul
Ciao caro poeta Maestro!
Would you feel like starting our “Torture Chamber Vagina Jay Joy” today??
(We’re starting a band called torture chamber vjj)
Maestro Paul. I’m in a tent in Ohio. Gonna meditate and write my way home over the next two days. Can we start then? I can’t wait. I love you. You’ve been a true friend to me when it’s mattered most. 🌹
He’s amazing. A different kind of person. And for awhile. My only real friend.
When you recover. Everyone leaves your life. And you leave everyone.
You resist it The Whole time. The way dominoes fall.
You start waking up.
And by then you’re already at war.
In my case Long Beach came just in the nick of time.
I agreed to play a music festival out there. I agreed to play just about anywhere at anytime. I was indiscriminate. Both in and out of the bedroom. Life had become a vacuum. I sucked everything. Yeah that too.
The psychopath discard came hard.
It started (and here’s where the poetry keeps just writing itself)
When my dad fell down the basement stairs in Ohio carrying an old toilet he’d just replaced. The fall was bad apparently and my sister called with the news.
Her voice in that hushed concern, which always , and I mean always struck me as false.
“Um hey” she said slow , like a tiger might approach a bird Its about to eat, which is already maimed and immobile. “Um… dad had a really bad fall. It looks like he’s gonna make it , but he’s in the hospital and he has three broken ribs and a cracked sternum.”
I was mortified. I was still holding out hope that me and the old man had time to resolve the unresolvable. I hadn’t prepared myself for the lunatics to leave the asylum so to speak.
“What happened? “I asked. “Can I call him?”
She filled in the details. More hushed fakery, which I had learned to mostly ignore. I didn’t know why she made my skin crawl. I do now. She’s a fucking demon.
But then she was still my sister and I had learned to push down those instincts and insights and play into the false persona with her.
I preferred believing she was a half way decent person.
I don’t believe that at all anymore. She’s shown me that in no uncertain terms.
I did call my dad and he was nice and even warm ish
The opiates did much to stave off his demons for a few minutes.
I said to him
“I’m not ready for you to kick the bucket old man. He laughed and said he was alright. I felt guilty for not visiting more and told him I would soon.
I still was thinking of taking the psychopath to Ohio. Thank god that never happened.
Life before waking up is really pure confusion. When the key people in your life are duping you the whole time, and you’re trying to act like a normal human being, of course you go mad.
Your feelings don’t really make sense. You live in a world where nothing is as it seems. And the people around are conscious of the con. It’s crazy. This is why I have no respect or mercy for any of them. They are to me. The height of evil. What I can do to them now. They got coming.
And ps. Psychos. I’m licensed to carry now so… please come at me. That’s all I want to say. Please come at me. I’m looking for an excuse. Come at me. Please. Come at me.
But back to our scheduled program
The psychopath came over that night. I think she may have brought me a burger from Prime Meats. She lived or probably still lives in the apartment right over Prime Meats. (In case any vigilantes want to know)
That’s where the Snakeskin grand finale got booked.
My mom said to me as I was in mexico
“We booked my birthday dinner at Prime Meats!! ”
The psychopath would bring me a burger from there now and then if I asked.
(God who knows what crazy shit I ended up consuming over that time. )
I’m an addict to be sure. And was one way long before I met the psychopath.
But I never turned into a speed freak before.
I liked coke and what not, but kept it chill. You know the drill. I never let that shit become a habit. And I take responsibility for my addiction , however it’s worth noting that her last boyfriend also became hopelessly addicted to speed and had a psychotic break as a result.
That’s exactly what happened to me too.
And let’s just say I have hard evidence of coercion in that direction.
Tina Turner Quinn? Really. Ok.
She found me a cat.
There were rats in my place at this point.
In the six or so years I lived.
One rat only. The whole time.
Got rid of it and done.
A few mice here and their.
I mean it’s an open garage space on the water in brooklyn.
I’ve faired very well considering.
But now my place was infested.
Interestingly the Psychopath always had a basket.
Perhaps just a coincidence that suddenly rats were everywhere
I got a bunch of traps and then it was rat casualty after rat casualty. And yet they kept coming
“This is so weird I said. This has never happened before. ”
Quinn suggested I get a cat
“A cat will be the answer to all your problems. A cat will take care of everything for you. A cat is gonna save the day! ” she said.
“That’s a good idea, I’d love to have a pet. I never really have before. ” I had an iguana that named Jaco when I was 12 or so, but my dad took it back to the pet store one day because he said it looked lonely by itself. He didn’t ask me, he just did it and so I’ve been pet averse ever since”
“Well you DEFINITELY NEED A CAT!”
The next day she sent a picture of a cat she found.
The cats name.
I wrote her back. Happy she was giving me some love.
I wrote “wow that’s amazing! And the name! I love it. Tina Turner.”
I asked how can I get it. She said she would reach out but I never heard anything more about it.
Months later after the discard I was in the habit of smoking meth on occasion. Aderal supply was running low and it’s really not much of leap from Aderal abuse into meth. They are both meth. So before you judge me. Stop first to consider (is your kid already on meth cause of add. If so get him the fuck off it. That shit is Satan)
But again I wasn’t really a meth head. I was just visiting.
And tho I was still up to no good. I was actually just visiting that time. I really only got into meth a little bit. I mean I risked dying as a result , but I hadn’t given up on life and knew and never forgot that the meth was like the end of the road for me.
It was more like, well I’m at the end of the road. I might as well camp for a few days. And that’s really all it was. I still had work to do. And I was researching NPD.
I had discovered neurolinguistic programming as a result of Quinn’s texts.
She uses embedded language. This I can prove very very easily across hundreds if not thousands of texts.
Even the fact that I know what NLP is , Is kinda proof.
Here’s how you learn all this stuff. You google the odd things they do. And the answers pop up pretty quick. You then research and read and study. And then none of it is hard to see anymore.
Here’s some info on NLP from online. It’s interesting shit. And the correlation between it and narc behavior is on the money.
An NLP person essentially carefully fakes the social cues that cause a person to drop their guard and enter a state of openness and suggestibility.
By mirroring body language and linguistic patterns, the NLPer is attempting to achieve one very specific response: rapport. Rapport is the mental and physiological state that a human enters when they let their social guard down, and it is generally achieved when a person comes to the conclusion that the person they’re talking to is just like them. See how that works, broadly? An NLP person essentially carefully fakes the social cues that cause a person to drop their guard and enter a state of openness and suggestibility.
Once rapport is achieved, the NLPer will then begin subtly leading the interaction. Having mirrored the other person, they can now make subtle changes to actually influence the other person’s behavior. Combined with subtle language patterns, leading questions and a whole slew of other techniques, a skilled NLPer can at this point steer the other person wherever they like, as long as the other person isn’t aware of what’s happening and thinks everything is arising organically, or has given consent. That means it’s actually fairly hard to use NLP to get people to act out-of-character, but it can be used for engineering responses within a person’s normal range of behavior—like donating to a cause, making a decision they were putting off, or going home with you for the night if they might have considered it anyway.
From this point, the NLPer will seek to do two things—elicit and anchor. Eliciting happens when an NLPer uses leading and language to engineer an emotional state—for instance, hunger. Once a state has been elicited, the NLPer can then anchor it with a physical cue—for instance, touching your shoulder. In theory, if done right, the NLPer can then call up the hungry state any time they touch your shoulder in the same way. It’s conditioning, plain and simple.
There you have it. I was mind controlled for sure. That’s how it works and that’s just one of the techniques. If you’re blind in that room and an empath and trusting person programmed to take shit. Well goodnight. Goodnight.
You know what works better than even touching a shoulder to induce hunger.
What creates even a deeper response than that?
If you can touch somebody’s shoulder to induce hunger.
Just imagine what you can do
With a tight pussy and an ass that won’t quit.
Imagine that that becomes the que to take speed. Cause…
That’s exactly what happened.
When we first started hooking up again she brought me coke she said she stole from Harrison Ford’s son.
I remember feeling quite cool that I had this chick stealing coke and coming to my place with it. To ball all night. It kinda rocked. It was supposed to.
Coke and speed and sex became all we would do.
We would fuck for hours and hours and hours.
It was fun. That part.
And perfect for her real agenda.
People are easy to manipulate and control when they don’t sleep. I think I was awake for the better part of a year.
So what about all that stuff about the cat?
The cat with the great name that the psychopath told me
“Will solve all your problems. Give you all the love you need. Make your dreams come true. Protect you from the rats! Be your best friend! ”
It didn’t exist.
After I started researching NLP
(Oh man. I could do a whole book on her texts alone. That will be fun to break down a few for you in the future. When I feel like looking at that horse shit again. )
I got struck by something.
The name of the cat. Struck me as funny
I found the add she sent me and looked up online. It didn’t exist. She had doctored the whole thing.
Tina is gonna solve all my problems.
Tina is gonna give me the love I need
Tina is gonna make this house a home
Tina is gonna be amazing.
Tina is also what they call meth.