The Caterpillar Goes In Chrysalis Hanging By A Thread

The caterpillar goes in chrysalisHanging by a thread

I’m not as concerned anymore with details of my story.  It’s a disgusting barage of all the greatest hits. All the angles of abuse covered in full. Some overtly. Some covertly. But covered. They left no stone unturned. And of course they didn’t. You were their project remember?

I’m not interested in revealing a laundry list of details. All of our stories at root really read the same. The abuse takes on many forms but at a core level it’s meant to fracture you permanently. It’s meant to keep you in a state of submission and open and willing to take further and endless abuse and then be ready for the big deposits of shame. After you here all the disgusting ways people do this to each other, that part becomes less interesting to me. Mind you I consider silence a grave threat to personal safety and I would encourage you to see it the same way. The narc counts on us being ashamed and silent. What are you ashamed ?  What do they have on you? Fucking tell on yourself. Take that power away from them. We as a community understand the weight of this abuse and how it makes us do all kinds of despicable things. And how despicable are those things? I mean obviously that is wise question and some of us may have done things we should infact be ashamed of. (Never toxic shame) But you can also help to forgive yourself by knowing and letting it sink in that you were not yet your authentic self and you had no chance til now of becoming that. So. You do the math on that. Outside of some obviously horrific shit. I’m sure what you did ain’t that bad at all. I myself have done just about everything. And even enjoyed most of it. There I said. Next. 

I’m not concerned with details of anything anymore except for my recovery. Those details interest me a great deal. That is where my focus is now. And it’s where yours should be as well. That’s not to say that I don’t spend a great deal of time still getting validation in other people’s experiences and stories. It’s just that now my focus is finally allowed to be on me and dedicated without shame or hesitation to myself. This is a very powerful thing to discover at this juncture in your journey. Think of the untapped potential you can now freely and readily tap into. Without second guessing or getting permission from someone who wishes no kindness at all. Tho she will say she loves and supports you. Now you start to let those voices. Those toxins which were interfering with you a great deal more than you could have ever known. Both covertly and overtly. 

And just so we’re clear they will never ever ever validate any of this. Of course they don’t. But you and I know it’s true. And if more of us just boldly call it out for what it is. Well at least we can all get our guns on the table. But these predators never can fight fair. 

That’s the other appealing thing about boxing. A pure fight is actually a beautiful thing. Especially if there is art techniques and sportsman ship involved. Then it’s a classy affair. Dangerous yes but in a way that’s in keeping with day to day life in this world of hard knocks. I mean I love boxing because at least conceptually it’s straight up. And outside of all the shark activity that of course swoops around it. It’s what you see is what you get affair. How refreshing is that for people who have come thru what we’ve come thru? The fact that you can learn and even celebrate fighting finally in a fair context. It’s easy to see for me how this has become an overriding passion overnight. But I digressed tho the digression was on point cause it’s right back into what I’m interested in. 

Is the beauty of the process of the recovery from this abuse. It’s specifically beautiful. There is a poetry to it that is chilling and it’s an invitation into celebration that you can’t believe is happening. And it’s a celebration of you.  

Just as a butterfly came from 

Connecting the Dots
The whole world is evolving at a speed we’ve never seen

The children of the world are gonna sue the greedy dean

Of corporate war lord mongers for whom nothing’s sacred too or real

Hanging by a tiny string the way the caterpillars 🐛 feel 

The caterpillar goes in chrysalis

Hanging by a thread

The butterfly 🦋 is God’s way to say

“Don’t mind that you’ll be dead” 

Imaginal cells they liquefy before they shed their skin

They redesign surrendering

Before they’re born again  

You’re being born again right now. If you can let it happen. If you can surrender yourself to the process. That is what stands before you. In all of its cheesy glory. And cheeseball glory can be fun. Especially when you compare it to where we come from. Right? 

Once you tap into that part of you dying to be the butterfly you born to be. There is no substitute. And how could there be? Why should there be? There shouldn’t be. Because if your concern is for others than it is only thru this journey into yourself that you can provide any solace for anyone else.  let alone mercy grace and love. Your dedication is for us all. And for us all you need to invest your all into yourself. And then we will all benefit. Greatly. So let me thank you in advance because if youre hearing this than you are meant to. And if you are meant to then what does that mean? Come on player. You know what that means. Give yourself that gift of no contact. Give yourself that space to really become yourself. You owe it to us all.  

My soul purpose or you could say my souls purpose is to aid and abed survivors of this abuse to become the shining lights they were meant to be. This is as I am becoming the shining light I was meant to be. That’s how this works and like this we will effortlessly beat the enemy. Truth is our friend. No contact is our best friend. Seriously is your soul pancake best friend for life I promise you. No contact. No contact. No contact. Give yourself the space and watch what happens. It will be painful as hell. Who said becomingba butterfly was easy? Nobody. That’s who. So go on and get you some.  

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