Why I started boxing is funny I guess. I love Mickey Rourke and follow him on Instagram and came with this idea that it would great performance art to have professional boxing debut against Mickey. And because of his affection for his dogs. We could do it to benifit a charity that takes care of small dogs.
I told this to my boxing manager friend L. and she coming from a New York art scene thought the idea was funny and so next think I know I have a a trainer.
Boxing for me seems to be the exact right training regime for victims of emotional abuse. Consider what emotional abuse does to the victim. What it’s objective is. It aims to destroy the victims self esteem and belief in himself. It aims to shatter the confidence of the victim entirely and permanently. These predators want to leave broken things in their wake. They don’t want us to find ourselves. Become empowered. “Get our groove back” if you will. They want us broken ashamed and most of all silent. Best if your dead cause then silence is assured.
Boxing on top of getting you into the best shape of your life. Addresss all these issues in the context of physical sport. We were often. Hell, we were always defenseless. In boxing you learn about defense. And if you get lazy about that. You’ll get unlazy about it real quick after you first spar.
But on that subject. You can go very very far down the rabbit hole of boxing without ever having a punch thrown your way. So don’t fear the violence that comes with it at the deeper levels. There is much to be gained and explored out side of all that. Boxing teaches you to be present and shows you that if you let your guard down even a tiny bit you can pay dearly for that.
Remind you of how anything else operates?
When you make boxing your primary physical regime. You are going right to the source of the places that were most targeted and you are teaching yourself at a fundamental level not only how to defend yourself but that you are infact worth taking care of. I’ve become passionate about it.
I see no problem with obvious therapeutic aspects of it. Of course with all things. That narc voice of judgment and condemnation will come in. Who do you think you are? You look ridiculous. But you should know by now when they do that they are threatened and if you take up boxing they better be. Not cause you’ll go beat them up. Tho I will say training as a fighter does wonderful things for your ability to hold yourself as you should. A proud human being. Should. As someone who loves themselves does. Remember you are coming from a deficit.
You have to dig deeper but this will bare fruit if you allow it. You become passionate and rejuvenated by life in a way you never thought was possible.
Which brings me finally to one of the other great benefits of boxing and that is the FASHION 🥊🕺 of it. What other sport even comes close? The robes which are hand done and designed and decorated. The shiny shorts. The boots. The gloves. The belt. It’s fun to be a boxer. It’s a good look. And don’t judge that part of it. We have to remember that there is healthy narcissism. And that one of the great things about life. Kept in balance it’s great fun to stand out and shine. And we all should and we all should celebrate that in ourselves and others. There’s nothing gross about it. On the contrary it’s an important part of the fuel that helps fulfill our dreams. Just because it happens to share a name with the most wretched of behaviors. We can’t throw the baby out with bath water. Damn right you look good all cut up in that robe and shorts and boots. Ready to fight with that championship belt draping over your shoulders. Damn right.
This here is something else they want to rob from us. They make fun of us relentlessly when we go for our dreams. And they do what they can to sabatoge them. No contact. Heal. Give yourself time. Learn how to be alone. It’s hard at first. For me it was so hard. But none of this would have sprung up had I not leaned into the fight. You are a victim and you need to give yourself time and to certain degree be gentle as you would a baby with yourself. You are in many ways just that. But also and equally as important is. You must lean into this fight. It’s serious. Your first and most important and really only line of defense is ‘no contact.’ But that’s not the end of the war. The war is with yourself. Ultimately it comes down to that. All “no contact ” does is make it possible for you even try and fight that war. Which you can most certainly win. But you gotta lean in. And you know what if you are like me. You find enormous motivation in helping yourself to help others. Your faith in the goodness of people or more specifically your ability to influence and give light and the value of that only becomes dramatically reinforced once the healing begins. But on top of that your enemy is still alive and your enemy is alway coming. Remember that. I know you will I hope you will. Look great. Start boxing. It’s deep as fuck. Trust me.