The Mistake Is The Seed 

The mistake is the seed 
Let me share the joy. I want to write about this journey not as a diatribe of pain. Or a listing of horrors. All of which are ancient and impersonal. 

Until one liberates himself from too much pain. Or sheer luck. Or getting under a couple hits of acid. Or finding Jesus. Or however it can come to be that you may wake up. 

That could only be called grace. 

No matter how it came gift wrapped. And with its burden in tow. 
The mistake is the seed. 

Uncover your need 

Bleed when you bleed 

Ignore all their greed 

The mistake is the seed. 
I’ve made so many. And how have I been allowed to recover from some of them? Some were bad. Some I stared down death giving zero fucks. Not saying that to be anti heroic but just for context. The mistakes tho… lead you to your path if you allow them too. Pain is always an invitation into solitude. And then a pathway to your truth can be discovered and communication/ communion with a higher voice can be tapped into. Tuned into. Heard between breaks in the silence. Where silence and space were at one time terrible beasts you’d never dare encounter. Now not only are they your best friends. They’re (for a time) your only friends and so you leap into them often and readily and as a result you begin to listen and take very good care of yourself. 

Which brings me to what I wanted to write about. The gift of recovery. Ready for it. It’s a doozy. It’s a shocker. It’s a big deal. It’s….

Taking care of yourself. 
That’s it.?👺

Taking care of yourself. 

I can hear some of you say….”that’s it?” I’m afraid so. 

That’s it. But for some of us, tho it’s a simple idea, the execution of it has been anything but. We’ve walked thru an entire lifetime hardwired and then encouraged (by various forces both external and of our own making, which tend to be the same thing) 

to NOT take care of ourselves. 

And by taking care of yourself I don’t just mean eating right and cutting down on the smokes. What I mean is allowing your voice to shine. Allowing yourself to be seen and recognized. Not silencing yourself and your dreams for fear of what others may think. Finally understanding that to express yourself openly and freely is to honor and respect the divine within. And to fail to do that is to dishonor the divine. To make your life smaller. More rooted in fear. And ultimately the diseases that fear brings. Your ideas and inspirations are whispered from the higher aspects of you. To silence them and to judge them and to condemn them is to silence and judge and condemn God. He’ll forgive you but you won’t be allowing him to fully manifest within you. Your life will become smaller and more limited and even tho it will be YOU punishing YOURSELF by listening to fear. It will feel like a punishment coming from a source more powerful than you because indeed you will have given your power over to such a force. THAT FORCE IS CALLED FEAR. Use the force don’t surrender your power to it. 
And on another level, it’s great fun to take care of yourself. I’m going at it like a man/bitch possessed. And it feels like a beast has been let out of a cage at long last. So hungry he was to really thrive physically but somehow always held back from really feeling and seeing what that would be. But no more. This is great benefit of recovery. Don’t be afraid to shine. Don’t be afraid to shine. Don’t be afraid to shine. 

It’s a simple almost cliche statement but to actually execute it for a normal person is something extraordinary but for those of us programmed to destruct. Getting to the place to be able to shine and at the same time not be absolutely consumed by terror is something of a miracle or grace. 
I love taking care of myself. I let myself have days now of just juicing and meditating and watching or reading inspiring things. Going out for light exercise and breathing work. I would have rolled my eyes at the hippie who would have said what I just did if I hadn’t gone thru my whole life burning to the ground to actually get there. I wonder if there is any other way? Somehow I don’t think so. Regardless this has been my way and I’d like to share my inspiration to have a positive day with you. Namaste. 

3 Comments on “The Mistake Is The Seed 

  1. Don’t you feel like you’ve grown taller?
    I once asked my therapist about this feeling and he explained to me something about that phenomenon but I don’t exactly remember now, except that yes, it happens. When you (re)gain control/conciousness of your feelings towards not only others but yourself too and begin to set boundaries and everything; when you start taking care of yourself in the way you’ve been describing beautifully, you may feel as if you’ve physically grown an inch or two taller.
    I find this really strange but so cool!

    Like

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